Unsplash/Alexandru Acea

Lose your Fear of Loving

The importance of loving yourself

How easy is it to fall in love with your eyes closed? How easy is it to want to love, to want to feel embrace, warmth, sweetness, attention? How easy it is to let go and jump without knowing who will catch you. How easy is it to let go of control, be a victim of passion, of the desire of uncontrollable lovemaking? How amazing it is to feel these things, want them, let your skin and body feel electrified when you like someone? How easy is it to give in to that animal instinct, to allow ourselves to lead the way?

Yet we stop ourselves.

We overcomplicate desire, ask questions, become afraid of love, of the future. We cannot live in the moment, feel the butterflies, the incredible electricity that someone makes you feel when you desire them. The lust for that person’s body the moment you see them. What is it that doesn’t let us give in, I ask myself?

Why am I enjoying someone’s body, company, feelings, yet I’m afraid to love, I’m afraid to get let down, I’m afraid to get my heart broken. Of course, you don’t fall in love with everyone you meet; sometimes, it’s just infatuation. And you don’t share your bed with all of these people; sometimes, you want their company. But why are we so afraid to give in to our first instincts? Why don’t we follow them? Why do we listen to what others have to say about our personal lives? Why are we afraid?

I still don’t have an answer, but I feel more comfortable looking than I did before. Many times we close ourselves up to love when it is a beautiful feeling, indescribable. We yearn for it, but when it comes knocking, we run away from it, we are afraid of being hurt; we instead let the possibility of that love go rather than enjoying it, knowing that it might hurt us. Taking a leap of faith is important, but saying how you feel is essential.

Unsplash/Wyron A

It seems as though everyone is looking for love, for company, for someones’ embrace, attention, desires, but we are afraid. Some would argue that being alone is empowering and beautiful. And I agree, it is important to love yourself, know yourself, and be at peace with yourself before sharing your person and feelings with another person. But many people stay in the self-discovery phase and can sometimes isolate the opportunity for love, to discover those features in someone else.

As a single, sexually empowered woman, I sometimes wonder if I really want to or just like the idea and what I’m really looking for is passion. I try to convince myself that I don’t need romantic love, for I already have plenty of another kind. There is too much of it in my life. But there is a part of me that wants to fall in love and feels judged for not doing so. Judged for being lonely, for not letting go of myself fall in love, for wanting love but not finding it.

It is valid to be alone but don't do it for fear of feeling love. You have to learn to let go; you may feel vulnerable or find it hard to trust and show love until you find it. I have to clarify that this love does not necessarily have to be a romantic type. Loving you is important and incredible. Because if you don’t, how can you love another?

Love yourself, respect yourself, like yourself, and above all, fall in love with yourself.



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Lorenza Aranda

Lorenza Aranda


Lorenza is a Mexican journalist, who wants to shed light on important matters, especially for young people around the world.